Posted by jammerlich on July 5, 2007, at 3:02:37
In reply to How are you today??? (nm) » jammerlich, posted by TherapyGirl on July 4, 2007, at 19:09:23
I was doing better earlier this evening, but not so much now.
It's nearly 3 in the morning and I can't sleep. And I'm freaking out a little (ok, a lot). Like, I'm not sure I'll survive if I don't talk to my T RIGHT NOW!!!! I mean, I'm literally shaking. It's pathetic, really. A 32 year old woman should be able to deal with a paid caretaker being away for 12 days. Just 12 little days!! I mean, we're really only talking about 2 missing hours over 12 days, too. Just 2 hours!!!!!
I know what did it. A stupid movie I watched earlier. Had bad stuff in it. Stuff that wasn't so much as hinted at in the description. Stuff they really should warn you about. And there was a point where I thought it might be coming, but I told myself, "No, you think you see that in all kinds of places because you're sensitive to it, because it was your experience, but it isn't REALLY there." Well, this time it was SO there. It's a thing with Indie films, I think. They seem to deal with issues mainstream films don't.
Anyway, I'm having a really hard time. I wonder if my T is reachable. I don't know. Maybe I'll call the answering service in a little while and ask. Or maybe wait until later and call the secretary. If I'm told yes, maybe the idea that I COULD talk to her would be enough to get myself to Monday without actually disturbing her. I really don't want to disturb her.
God, I feel crazy, crazy, crazy. Like I need to jump up and down and kick and flail my arms about. Or ram my car into something. I need loud noise or something powerful. I don't understand. Ok, I'm stopping now. Really. I'm starting to scare myself. I'm sure it will all look better when the sun comes up.
Can someone pass the margaritas? I think I'll need the whole pitcher.
poster:jammerlich
thread:766427
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/767790.html