Posted by wishingstar on June 25, 2007, at 14:12:35
In reply to update from chat last night, posted by wishingstar on June 25, 2007, at 7:28:05
I did go and see Ginny this morning after all. Overall I guess it was okay. I told her what was going on but eh... I dont know that it really made any difference and I really dont feel any connection or strength from having done it. We talked a little about ways to cope but they were all things that we both agreed wouldnt work (for various practical reasons). I think she was stuck. She said "well this just 'stinks'" several times and I agreed. Hah.
She asked me what I needed from her today and I told her I didnt know. I said I feel like there's so many real things that arent being said but I dont know what they are or how to say them. She said to try and figure out what they are for Thursday. Dont think thatll happen.. haha.
I dont know. I do think she tried to be validating today. She complimented me many times on all the positive things I'm doing. Sometimes that frustrates me when I'm doing poorly though... its like "shut up about the positive! dont you see how bad i feel!" but I know thats wacky. Anyway... I think Ginny is trying her best, but I think maybe we're just past the point of being able to fix it and rebuild any kind of connection now. Honore, not sure if this is what you were getting at or not, but I'm aware that I'm only seeing the negative and the things that feel uncaring from her and am not really able to see the rest. I definitely have a role in this. But I just cant imagine it being fixed at this point. I wouldnt even know where to begin. There's just nothing there.
Now I'm off to DBT group...
poster:wishingstar
thread:765591
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/765694.html