Posted by frida on June 7, 2007, at 23:11:26
Hi,
Just feeling the need to write...was reading the posts above and I am in tears. I feel very little...I feel 5 yrs old or less... :-( saw my T today, and she was so reassuring and did things to make the little girl in me feel safe. She reassured me and it brought tears just to hear but I didn't cry. I can't. I cry alone. My T held me for some minutes before I left. It meant a lot. It was very brief, but unexpected and I felt so safe. She told me that she can hear so much in all that I haven't told her and in my fear and silence.
I am just feeling very scared. How will I be ok now? I haven't told yet and I'm scared of not being able to tell. I know my T cares..though it's hard to hold on to that feeling and keep it in me. I just feel lots of tears..and I feel very little...we talked a little about how hard it was to just be there waiting, knowing he'd come to hurt me and not knowing exactly when but knowing it would happen :-( I have that feeling now..it hurts, and it hurts to keep the feelings to myself...I can't share yet with her..just little bits....but I can't...She says I am "telling" somehow even if I don't tell with words out loud but I feel the pain of what I haven't told and I wish I could tell her and share the feelings, and just cry as a little girl and feel safe.
Will this be ok?
I'm just feeling scared and it hurts so much.I do feel grateful that my T is with me. I need to find the way to speak and share the emotions I've buried. Is there a way out of this?
Just feeling scared and small.
afraid of not being able to handle things.Thanks for listening,
Frida
poster:frida
thread:761768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/761768.html