Posted by B2chica on May 25, 2007, at 8:37:56
In reply to Are we doing better? **SI triggers**, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 17:00:26
fraid i gotta add into this...it's been kinda different really. i'm not sure what's stirred up these feelings as of late but they are there...and Very tempting...i have strong urges to cut up but haven't yet.
i think i haven't mostly cuz of the little one now. and iv'e found other ways to self abuse, like the natural lack of sleep, pushing myself to 'do it all' and when the little one grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls tight i just don't stop it.
in a way, i get the SI without the blame that way.
it sounds kinda twisted, is that abusive? i don't know. but i know right now the little one doesn't know it hurts me and i show no signs of pain, so i think it's ok. (though that means it probably not).
but...is this terrible? should i stop this? i just can't right now.
feelings of selfcontempt are coming back but are also supported by neg. words from DH.my 2 c.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:758898
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/759412.html