Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 23, 2007, at 20:47:16
In reply to T + termination, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 20, 2007, at 14:49:44
I feel so sad to lose everything all at once. Most keenly I feel the loss of pdoc at the moment. I only have one more appt. with him before I'm thrown to the pack of dogs. oh sorry. docs.
And I'm in flat-out denial that I'm going to be changing T's.
I'm so so terrified of everything. Life is really difficult right now. I've built a home for myself, a life for myself. I made my own curtains and got my own cat.
I feel like a fish out of water.
More than anything, I feel fear.
Fear of losing my mind
Fear of losing my hard sought "stability"
Fear of losing connection to those who have helped me so much along the way
Fear of fear itself.
Fear of two upcoming family events. This is the first time I will see them en masse since I confronted them with the truth.
Fear of being alone. Right now, I feel very alone. Maybe I'll babble-chat later on.
So scared for this transition. Really really tormented. I want. I need.I've never been in the situation of saying good-bye to someone forever. Much less two someones all at once and people who have become so dear to me. It's breaking my heart.
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:758419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/759126.html