Posted by Honore on April 26, 2007, at 14:55:25
In reply to Thought of T being better than us???, posted by LadyBug on April 26, 2007, at 14:38:02
I don't know, Ladybug, but maybe it's something about your T, too. Maybe she exudes a certain "I'm great, are you as great as me?" air-- even if she's really nice and sweet and caring.
Some people do-- it's not to their detriment as people- but it's one of thier weaknesses, to need to be so together, so enviable.
Your reaction could be partly a bad story (or image) you've created about yourself; or a reenactment of something from your long ago memories; and it could, at the same time, be a real sense of something-- about her, a subtle, unspoken competitiveness with the world-- that you're picking up. Or a combination of these.
My T is distinguished in his field, has a nice (although by no means fancy) office, and I assume a rich emotional and imaginative life. But he's a true mensch. So down and in there, with me, that I don't think of him that way-- as someone to put on a pedestal and admire, or envy. He never puts himself out there to be idealized-- he;s much too real, a flawed, complex, and very real human being.
Maybe your T likes to be idealized; maybe it helps her get through the day.--and maybe, right now, you haven't broken through that circle to get to the real her.
Plus I tend to denigrate and devalue my strenghts, and distort and magnify my perceived weaknesses and vulnerabilities until they seem gigantic. Maybe affirmations aren't real to you yet-- but I'm going to bet that there are a lot of admirable and really even enviable qualities that you possess but don't give their due.
Give it time; it often can take many years to get close, but it does happen gradually, if you stick with and keep working.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:753687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/753694.html