Posted by Colleen D. on April 2, 2007, at 20:11:21
The more I read about BPD here and other places on the web, the more I see myself in the description of people with this disorder. I think I have made some progress though since I started taking meds and no longer have a pdoc because the "pay as you can" policy at the local public mental health agency has dicctates that other people need free help more than I do. My recent suicidal ideation has frightened me and I have to do something to keep on making progress. My current meds just aren't cutting it.
I have had since I can remember (despite being a high achiever) low self-esteem, intense stormy relationships, fear of abandonment and rejection, hypersensitivity to criticism, and having been sexually abused in my teens. There are other BPD behaviors I identify with, but I'll spare you from the whole list. I have also always been a skin picker. At times I recall that I would pick my face or my arms and legs 'til they looked so bad I couldn't go out in public. Is this really a form of self-injury since I didn't really do anything that threatening?
I have officially been dx'ed with recurrent MDD, OCD and GAD, so I wonder if my skin picking behavior is a manifestation of OCD, BPD or both.
I'm looking for expert opinions here ((;-)) before I read the books I've just ordered about BPD. I think I have been misdiagnosed. OCD + avoidant BPD seems to hit the nail on the head as much as I hate to admit it.
Thanks,
Colleen
poster:Colleen D.
thread:746389
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/746389.html