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my 2 favorites **mild abuse trigger** » DisTraught

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on March 25, 2007, at 12:04:00

In reply to Suggested titles - self-help books?, posted by DisTraught on March 25, 2007, at 7:57:20

If you're super-depressed, I hope you are getting some supportive therapy right now.

If you feel up for "work" (personally, I've never been able to do any psychological heavy lifting when I've been super-depressed)

"Thoughts and Feelings"

Which will help you understand a way to journal and interpret your thoughts on life.

For me, the best self-help book is a blank journal. I can write down my disorganized thoughts and fancies ranging from my shopping list to my plan for therapy that week and everything in between. and perhaps a stream of consciousness when I'm in some type of crisis mode.

I find the act of putting pen to paper (or typing on Babble) is very effective to help me sort through conflicting thoughts. I can look for patterns, talk about odd dreams I have had with my therapist.

***abuse trigger below**

In the last month before "break" She and I were going through my journal entries in some depth. I would make a copy for her and then we'd read them together. She helped me see that I have different voices. Sometimes I'm very self-destructive, and that is usually when I'm identifying with someone who abused me. Someone who committed violent acts on my person. And I want to punish myself. I never understood why before, but that is one of my recent insights.
Another pattern I noticed was this creative problem solving type who is artistic and resourceful. T says that's the source of my strength and if I try to nurture that part of me I will continue to survive and thrive.
Finally there's the voice of someone who just wants to be taken care of. That's the voice of my long-lost childhood. I identify with the child sometimes, and that's usually when I'm terrified, panicked and anxious-avoidant.

I'm sure there are more patterns there, but you see what I mean?
It sure does help to have someone else to interpret and shine a light on your own writing, though, Otherwise it's easy to get into a pattern of only writing out despair and neglecting to focus on some of the little pinpoints of hope that exist even in the darkest depression.

Next time you feel a tiny bit of pleasure or satisfaction or hope, try to write down the circumstance and note your body and mind's reaction to it.

I hope you feel better as soon as humanly possible,
_ll


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/744116.html