Posted by gazo on March 24, 2007, at 23:25:11
i stood outside looking up at the stars.. i am so lonely. i got drunk instead of getting my work finished. i'm starting to sober up some. no one wants me, truly, no one does.
i am not really depressed. my meds are fine. i am just struck by cold reality. i just can't face th truth or act on it when i see it.
i deleted the letter to the new T. i can't tell him about how bad it has been. i told my pdoc once that i have always known i will die by suicide. i am not suicidal now and i am afraid of going there again. i have come close before. i used to do a lot of things which were destructive.
i thought getting drunk was going to help me forget... instead it made me realize how much i don't really matter to anyone. i feel like someone's trash.
poster:gazo
thread:743994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/743994.html