Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2007, at 10:09:23
In reply to Re: Discussed all of that today (Trigger?), posted by Daisym on March 17, 2007, at 1:56:41
There are times that it feels like that promise is all that keeps me tethered here. But there's also my sense of responsibility. My overriding desire since childhood has been to be a good girl. I can't see any way I can justify to myself leaving my son to wonder, as people and especially kids wonder, if he was to blame or if there's anything he did or could have done. Or to hurt whatever people might be hurt by my decision. And then there are lingering religious reasons. Not in the go to h*ll for eternity sort, but more like I really do believe that this life is God's gift to us, and that I am truly fortunate in so many things, that I'm disrespectful and ungrateful enough to even *want* to die. I want to be clear that those are my feelings about myself, not others.
I think the three things that would be most likely to tip me in the opposite direction would be things like accidentally doing serious harm to another or bringing shame to my family, or abandonment, or extreme anger. There are a few specific scenarios I can think of, but overall that's what comes to mind.
At least I think that's the gist of it. I think I might have an ear infection or something and I'm not thinking all that clearly.
poster:Dinah
thread:740254
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742098.html