Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 7, 2007, at 22:50:29
In reply to Re: Denial, posted by littleone on March 7, 2007, at 19:45:22
So, I have been working through this with my T. Recently I was finally able to let go of the denial of parts. It felt so good. The relief was tremendous. I felt so much free-er. I was able to once again work at soothing and accepting and liking and communicating with them. They just fit me so well. I think this alone is good proof that they are real. That I’m not thinking myself sick. They explain the experience of me.
**Yeah, I still deny sometimes...
I imagine I have made it all up somehow....
Then stuff happens, and I get smacked by the reality that I DO have parts.Having said that, I’m still struggling with working with my parts. I had just been getting the hang of soothing the young part, then the 10 year olds came up. And before I could get a grip on them, the teenager has been around a lot more too. Plus I think there’s a good girl part as well. My T says they’re coming up more as they feel safer to do so.
**I have gotten to know some of my parts. I am very proud of how well some of my parts have done. We can get along SO much better. It is SO much better to not deny.
It took 2 years for the young part to come out and talk to my T. Then another year for one of the 10 year olds to do so. Then suddenly pop pop pop several at once. It scares me the way they increase so quickly. I don’t want more. Even two is too many. I want less parts, not more. Plus we haven’t finished with the young part yet, more work is needed there. It’s overwhelming.
It’s hard to learn to tell them apart and figure out what helps which parts.
**I too get confused by parts. Sometimes I have writings and I think it was one part, but it doesn't SEEM really quite like that parts words....so mebbe its a diff one? And then I get to thinking, mebbe the part I thot was a diff part, is just an existing part having an outburst or something....
My T didn'y know bout parts, she got no experience of parts, but it turned out for the best cuz she said things like the I word, and like how they were just a part of me, not theirownselves, etc, etc. And I think she was not entirely comfortable bout them. But that made me defend them. Astonishingly strongly. And I think its helped my parts work together better somehow.
When things go smoothly I wouldn't really most of the time even KNOW I got parts. Its always so much worse when I under stress, then look out.
Then too if I repress too much and some don't get what they need, then there is conflict, and that is hard.But I’ll get there eventually. Through hard work. And with the help of my T. He is very special.
**ya your T sounds pretty cool :)
poster:Iwillsurvive
thread:739054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/739104.html