Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on February 21, 2007, at 22:40:58
pdoc's got no magic answers for me. What was I expecting? Instead wanted to make sure that I wasn't blaming all my woes on medication issues rather than "scrutinizing" psychological factors that may have precipitated latest crisis.
pissed me off too, because I felt like he was trying to tell me "it's all in your head" (even though he wasn't) afterwards I felt angry (been a long time since me and anger had a chit chat) and angry that I was PROJECTING [projectile vomit]
and wrote pdoc an email
Basically I realized as I wrote it that I was initiating crisis as a reaction to some stress I've been having with diss and therapy and the bad stuff is bubbling up again. And that in my family the best way to get any care or attn was to be sick (physically, not mentally). And that I've basically been waiting for my T to stop being nice to me, because that's my mom's thing- be nice really nice and then neglect and then nice and then neglect.
barf and now I'm doing the whole "transference" thing. BARF. BARF-o-LA
and the dosages just got changed again. So. what? I'm SO out of it. been starting diss work at 6am every am. that's not healthy. T said I gotta take better care of myself. and here I am. sleep deprived, agitated...
transference
the concept is nice in abstraction.
turns my stomach in context.blech.
gnight.
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:734982
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/734982.html