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Saw my T

Posted by wishingstar on February 19, 2007, at 14:24:16

In reply to thanks poet :) (nm) » Poet, posted by wishingstar on February 18, 2007, at 20:43:59

It went pretty well.

She read my email about quitting and said she thinks its a bad idea. She said she wouldnt want me to quit because she'd worry too much about me if I did, since she knows I'm in a bad place. I thought that was really nice. After a bit, she finally just said "ok, you're not quitting. thats it. you're just not". Hehe. I did tell her that it's not that I WANT to, its that I feel like I should because I'm wasting her time, etc etc.. and she disagreed. It wasnt the greatest session we've ever had but I do feel like I got the regular Ginny back.. the one who was missing last week. She did mention again how she knew she wasnt listening to me last week. I appreciated her admitting that a lot.

I took my first adderall today. It's a very odd feeling. I'm not ADHD, but my pdoc perscribed it hoping it'll boost my energy and motivation some. I took it about 2 hours ago and I've had several fits of laughing at absolutely nothing since. On one level, I feel GREAT, but on another, I still want to break down and cry. It's weird. I wonder if this is what a mixed state in bipolar disorder feels like? Wheeee. I can see why people would abuse this drug. I've never abused any substances in the past, but I do tend to have an addictive personality so I'm going to be very careful with this.


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