Posted by muffled on February 9, 2007, at 20:23:21
In reply to And so, don't tell me to go, posted by muffled on February 9, 2007, at 18:50:50
I was trying to explain how a part felt and how it works and stuff. But WTF does it MEAN? WORDS. Whats the point of words when you don't understand? So why did I send this? What am I trying to communicate and WHY?????
It all means nothing. I am confused as to WTF T is supposed to do. Its all up to me. Its for me to make it go away. T is not magic. There is no magic. Why do I do this???
Toughie
*******
Curled up in a little ball.
Trying to hold onto that nugget of warmth.
Goto pee, goto pee.
CAN’T.
Don’t want to expose position, must remain still.
No movement.
Just breath little breaths.
Goto pee, goto pee, hurts.
Go pee, nugget of warmth gone, seeming safety gone.
Find safe spot.
Sit down.
High alert.
Nowhere is safe.
Can’t rock, must stay still.
Vigilant.This is Toughie. This is how she feels lotsa times.
And we have taken care of ourownselves a long time.
And mebbe what we want is to not be so alone.
But we scared.
Cuz really what we know,
Deep in our hearts,
Is that we ARE ultimately alone.
Completely and utterly alone.
Noone can touch us.
And we shrivell and are so sad with that knowledge.
And in the background Blossom howls.
Where is God?
And noone knows how to cry.
So inside we swirl with vomit.
And try and pretend everything is OK.
I trying so hard to be OK.
I supposed to comfort Bl but I run from her,
Intolerable. I don’t understand.
poster:muffled
thread:731482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/731502.html