Posted by sunnydays on January 27, 2007, at 20:56:08
In reply to Re: Nightmares **sex abuse trigger** » sunnydays, posted by Daisym on January 27, 2007, at 20:34:08
> How scary for you. Thank you for sharing this, I hope it helps to hear that anyone would have been scared in a situation like that. I'm sorry for your brother too, he must have been hard to live with at that time.
**** Thank you. I struggle with my feelings about my brother. On the one hand I care about him a lot, and always have and probably always will. On the other hand he scares me an awful lot because he gets really violent at times.
> You know I have boys, right? I think a 6th grade boy in a manic state would be hard for a grown up to handle, let alone a teenage girl. I can understand the wish to have been able to do something but the reality of it might help you give yourself a bit of a break.**** See, I just think that somehow there must have been something I could have done to predict it, or something. My therapist says that's sort of magical thinking though, because how could anyone have seen it?
> I think I can see why your dreams have been so scary. Often the things we are most afraid of are what get stuck in our unconscious. So what didn't happen, but could have, would be the thing that is stuck. Especially since your parents perhaps didn't respond as well as they could have. That makes all the difference in the world, what happens after a trauma for a child. I hope they are helping you now. And I know you have a great therapist, so you have help there too.**** My mother tries to help but she just doesn't know how, and I'm not sure she'll ever understand. There is also some abuse from her in the past, both emotional and physical, and I'm struggling hard with my relationship with her right now. She'd like to help, but at the same time she seems like she wants me to get over everything and go back to being her normal daughter and go back to acting exactly like she wants. My therapist is really wonderful. He helps so much.
> I think you need to tell him about the dream and the arousal part. It is really important to talk about all of this and not let it go underground and become a secret.***** But that's what I always do! :) Secrets are such a big part of my life, even still, and it's so hard. I'm thinking maybe if I put it in an email that would work. It might take me almost an entire session just to say the words, otherwise. He might not catch it in an email because he doesn't always have time to read them thoroughly, sometimes he just scans them for how I'm feeling, but I think that if I sent him an email, maybe that would be a way to mention it. It's just so embarrassing. See, until very recently, I was too embarrassed and ashamed to even discuss the prospect of having a boyfriend with him. I'll have to see.
> I hope tonight is peaceful.
**** Thank you. Me too.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:727148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/727305.html