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Re: more T stuff...(again).. i feel rejected » youngaddict

Posted by mair on January 13, 2007, at 12:34:34

In reply to Re: more T stuff...(again).. i feel rejected, posted by youngaddict on January 12, 2007, at 20:48:31

I had a T/pdoc who I saw over about a 2-3 year period. (This was some years ago). Whenever he asked me whether I was worried about what he might think, I just blurted out (every time) "oh you're so non-judgmental." He never really questioned this response, that I can recall, so in a sense I convinced myself that this was true. It took a long time with my current T for me to realize and own up to the fact that when I'm struggling to get something out, it's frequently because I'm very worried about what my T might think and how she might view me. And that feelings that I'm disappointing her are there alot and are pretty well connected to feelings I've had forever that I regularly disappoint other people.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't still be working with her if I hadn't gotten over this hump - the practice of continually going into therapy and censoring 90% of my thoughts would surely have driven me away a long time ago.

mair


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