Posted by youngaddict on January 12, 2007, at 17:50:36
ok.
so i have been having these "transference" issues with my T and I have found out where she lived and drove by on a few occasions..(ok maybe more than a few) and i know its unhealthy and blah blah blah. BUTits how i feel.
so last week i posted because my T had given away our regular time and could only see me once. it was for friday but i couldn't wait so i called her and asked to come on wednesday. she didn't call me back for four days and that was only after i called her again to ask her.
so i go to my apt wednesday and she starts on the fact that i am still getting high and how its unproductive to whatever we are doing in therapy and that she will still see me thats not what shes saying but that i am wasting my time basically. in nicer words. i was CRUSHED. i felt like i had disapointed her and all i could think of was to go home and get high and cut myself. i didn't cut, but i did get high.
it doesn't end there though--i have become obsessed with her other patients..does she like them better, does she talk to them..etc... when i came early on wednesday she ended up running late and i sat there for 20 minutes listening to her talk . i mean there was a sound machine on and it was mumbled but i could her voice and it sounded differnt than when she talks to me.and THEN after I left another girl was coming in and she was like "HI!! so and so" and whenever she sees me she averts her eyes and sometimes doesn't say anything. WTF?
and to top it off she gave away my scheduled time again next week.
MOTHERF_ER.
poster:youngaddict
thread:721770
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/721770.html