Posted by laima on December 7, 2006, at 20:05:12
In reply to Has anyone read Social Intelligence?, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2006, at 13:46:21
Wow, I'm reading that right now! Close to halfway through, and full of bent-over pages marking spots to re-read later.
I saw an interview with the author on tv, that's how I found out about the book. I remember reading his previous book, Emotional Intelligence, and it made a huge impression on me. His wife writes about psychology, too, and is a huge endorser of people's ability to change. Anyway, he seemed upbeat, and if I remember correctly, told the interviewer that we all can indeed get better at reading the various cues that he talks about in his book. Maybe becoming aware of them is a place to start? In a way, I feel like he's letting us in on a bunch of secrets. I read a different article about microexpressions somewhere, and that other author made a huge fuss about how most people can't consiously read them, but improve significantly after some coaching and instruction.
> "Social Intelligence"
>
> Maybe I find everything depressing at the moment, but I find this book unbelievably depressing.
>
> Some of the things he speaks of as being part of being human are the very things I struggle with. They're not at all innate in me. Social rhythm, synchronicity, conversational timing, postural mirroring. They are as far beyond me as clapping in time to rhythm, no matter how loud and strong the rhythm may sound, even to me.
>
> It's something my mother isn't good at either, and I was wondering about that when I was reading about infants learning these skills from their mothers before they learn to speak. But on the other hand, a genetic deficit would also explain it for both of us. I hope my son took after my husband, who seems to do those things effortlessly.
>
> They don't sound like something that can be learned. Am I doomed?
poster:laima
thread:710907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/711286.html