Posted by sunnydays on December 3, 2006, at 19:26:45
In reply to Nuther question, posted by muffled on December 3, 2006, at 18:26:20
Hi muffled,
For a long time it didn't really feel like it was me. I knew it was me because how else would I remember it having happened, but I felt sort of disconnected from it. But the more I talk with my T, the more the emotions are coming back. Once I got the emotions, it really started feeling like it was me. I think once you start being able to tolerate the emotions, it will feel more like you. Our minds have incredible ways of protecting us from our memories until we are ready and can handle them.
I do think it is hard looking at pictures of when you were a kid, especially because pictures are often taken at happy times and if you associate a lot of unhappiness with your childhood it can feel like there's a disconnect between your memory and the picture. At least for me that's what happens, and it doesn't feel like I could be the happy kid opening her birthday presents and the kid I remember running away from her mother so she couldn't kick her.
So, I identify a little with your feeling of disconnectedness. It sounds like your mind is protecting you very well. Don't try to rush the process of opening up. You will remember and feel more connected when you are ready. If you try to force it, it could make you really upset.
Wishing you peace, muffled. Wishing us all peace.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:710038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/710067.html