Posted by orchid on November 28, 2006, at 13:20:17
In reply to Re: P.S. Daisy » antigua, posted by Daisym on November 28, 2006, at 0:01:44
Hi Daisy,
I am sorry that the holidays are hard to deal with this time. I hope it will be better the next time around.I also wanted to share something that worked for me in getting out of my struggle. I did some sort of crash therapy here at babble. I don't know if you remember, but everyday, I would post tons of posts, getting everything out. I had written here so much non stop. I think I did it for nearly 6 months or so. And then, at some point, I told myself: Allright, whatever happened has happened. Let me not focus too much on it anymore. By then, I had gotten enough stuff out from my mind and had gotten enough consolation from you folks.. And then, it was easy to focus on other things, because I guess in my mind I felt like all the hurt had been given attention to and I had folks feel sorry for myself for long enough. And then I stopped hurting. There were other things that helped immensely like support from my husband and spirituality. But I think saying to myself that it was enough at some point helped me.
Why I am saying this is, sometimes, if we keep focussing on negative things, and things that happened to us, and how it affected us too much, then it doesn't lead us anywhere. It is like, to drive away darkness, we need to bring in light in the room. We cannot drive away darkness by focussing on darkness more and more. At some point, after some amount of introspection and understanding why we hurt, then it might be better to stop focussing on the hurt too much. Of course, it takes some time, before we get to the point, and I am not sure if you are there yet. But at some point in the future, when you think you have dealt enough with the past, I think it would perhaps do you good to not look back any further. Because, sometimes, so many bad things happen to us in the past, that to try digging them all out means a lot of reliving of the hurt, and all that bad things keep coming non stop. At some point, we just have to stop digging further into ourselves, and just close the hole after understanding why it was there, and then move on. Further digging may not provide any value. But only you and your therapist can be the judge when that time is right though. I just wanted to share what I did.
poster:orchid
thread:706781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/708199.html