Posted by LadyBug on November 20, 2006, at 18:32:23
In reply to My T is leaving town :'-(, posted by LadyBug on November 20, 2006, at 3:58:06
I left her another message this morning before she had changed her voice mail to say that she was on vacation. She called from her cell phone, I'm sure she was on the road out of town.
She listened to me and told me she knew I could get past this that I was dealing with it much better than I would have a few years ago. She says how resiliant I am. I know the emotional thing is due to the meds and not getting enough sleep. When I cry, it's not that hopeless cry I have at times when I feel I want to die. It's a cry of frustration and not feeling well with the anxiety. Everything is bothering me, smells are bugging me to death. Food doesn't even sound good but I'm trying to eat fiber and fruit so I don't have problems with my bowels again. I don't want to end up in ER.
I will miss my T this week. I'm going to tell myself that she'll think about me and that she'll be home Sunday night should I need her. I went to see her the night before my first surgery and when I left I told her I would like a hug but I knew they are a boundary breaker. She said under the circumstances she felt it would be ok to have a hug. We did hug as I was leaving. I told her I loved her and she said I love you too. I hope I can hang on to that this week. I know it will help me. She loves me, I'm going to be ok. It's hard, but I can do it. Night time is coming on again, I hope I can sleep instead of the insomnia. I go see my surgeon in the morning. I hope he will tell me I can take a small break from the dang ted hose. I hate them. The are cutting the back of my knee and it's bleeding some. That can't be good.
I have the magnet my T. gave to me after my surgery. It says: "Success consists of getting up once oftener that you fall down." There is a little girl on roller skates with bandages on both her knees. How perfect for me as both my knees have bandages on them too. It's adorable. And it's right by me to tell me she cares.
I hope my heart can take her being away. I know she'll be back. I can't wait to see her. Maybe by then I'll be feeling a little less anxiety and sleeping better. I hope.
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:705438
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/705621.html