Posted by Jost on November 8, 2006, at 19:10:39
In reply to Re: Partial followup on move » Jost, posted by Dinah on November 8, 2006, at 12:39:54
Do you think you separated them (the therapist and the person) less at certain points in the past?
I know you've said things like that-- ie about distance, maybe--but I (now, at least) have a hard time separating those things-- with my therapist-- or wanting to.
It might be that I don't have the freedom to-- and that I did before. I never asked about my therapists' lives before a certain point (the therapist before this one was that point). I 'm not sure why everything changed so much then.
I"m careful about certain boundaries-- in time and space-- maybe not as careful as you are-- certainly-- but on the emotional level or the more metaphysical level, I tend to have a hard time locating them.
It varies. I'm careful about certain things-- extremely-- but then not about others-- -- so I'm respectful, I hope-- maybe not enough-- I tend to be a bit of a rampaging bull, not necessarily in a good way, but maybe not always in a bad way-- but I have serious limits, in what I'd say, or ask-- unless I"m under terrible stress-- in which case, maybe a lot of things might happen, that aren't necessarily so good--
But I don't separate my therapists real self from his working self- that much. I feel as if the emotional connection can be a lot of things-- and the limits aren't clear-- although you have to pay attention to them, when they fly up at you, which can be frightening-- and dislocating, and also hard to understand. But maybe it's that everything for a long time has seemed so at the edge-- so hard to hold onto (for me).
It's important to create the emotional space you need, though-- if you can find or imagine it-- or find the other person in it-- not that it's usually as refined as that--
I can relate to what you're saying-- although I can't quite place it-- for myself-- maybe because it's me as a person I can hardly remember-- before a certain time--
But maybe for you, it feels as if it is a way to nurture something by not interrupting it with being concerned too much with the real person-- allowing someone to be more available as an imaginative object - bracketing certain things, so as to keep them from interfering with the growth of other things--
I'm not sure. guess this isn't very helpful. I'm just in a rambling mood. Maybe sleep and being alone for a week. or some mood I'm in, for some reason.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:700134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701753.html