Posted by Lindenblüte on November 1, 2006, at 16:15:30
In reply to Re: I can't stand that word. (**abuse triggers**), posted by wacky on November 1, 2006, at 15:40:14
> Wow. This is truly tough stuff. And I admire everyone's strength to share. I really understand the T wanting to see expressions of emotions that don't exist. I've spent many years working on feeling a feeling. But I had to be taught HOW to feel a feeling. I was so terrified of feeling bad that I had NO feeling at all.
Hey Wacky-- that's exactly what I spent the last 4 months doing with my oldT.!!
I didn't know that I was unconsciously pushing it away. And by noticing my own reaction to - for instance - a word that's hard to say, little by little I've been able to notice my gut, my heart race, my mouth go dry, my eyes look to the floor, etc. And the first step is just to notice your body. And then check it out in your body - your gut, your heart rate, your breathing and just notice it without judging it, without stopping it.
Yeah- the body knows. It just doesn't have the words to tell you why. I knew there was a reason why I had medium-to-intense panic everytime I saw oldT, or PT, or pdoc. I just couldn't figure out WHY. I think a lot of people feel this way, certainly don't need to experience abuse or what not to have major problems experiencing or communicating emotions.
At least that's how I got started. During my first couple of years in therapy, no one explained that to me - so I was clueless how to go about feeling a feeling.
>
> WE are all to be commended for having the courage to look at it in the first place.yeah. GO US. and the ones who will read this stuff, and maybe they give a second thought to their own experience. The ones who aren't ready just yet. When you're ready, you'll know.
> The words are triggers for such intense feeling that we avoid the words. I still do but for the most part, I'm able to feel my gut (which is where I notice my feelings occur the most).
yes. sounds like a good plan. my gut is well- developed. um. yeah. so I have a lot to work with.
> Hope any of this rambling post helps even a little.
>helped me a LOT. thanks so much wacky. I feel like a moron much of the time. and these last 6 weeks, I've felt like I've made a lot of anti-progress. I switched T's and meds completely, and I'm still trying to get stabilized on my new routine. to feel grounded enough to get working again. I think I'm ready, though. If I can post this stuff with a sincere heart, I think I'm telling myself that I'm ready to take the next step, however miniscule that may be.
hugs all,
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:699274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/699636.html