Posted by Daisym on October 31, 2006, at 10:30:19
In reply to I can't stand that word. (**abuse triggers**), posted by Lindenblüte on October 31, 2006, at 9:49:39
A very powerful post.
I don't hate the word abuse. I hate the word survivor. I hate the word incest. I hate the word molest. And I hate the word victim.
"You were a victim of incest but now you are a survivor." Really? What part of my self "survived?" It all feels broken.
We've spent more than a few sessions on the words to use when talking about all of this. My therapist will say "your history" if we are talking in general terms. He gets very, very specific when we are processing a memory. He wants me to feel. He wants to demonstrate those feelings. I've seen him angry, sad, with tears and I've seen him horrified. But he leaves room for me to backoff if I need to.
Words are powerful ways to hold yourself apart from events. They are symbolic representations. I think it is important to allow yourself the words that really tell what happened. After telling about a particular incident, I looked up at my therapist and said (out loud) "This was rape, wasn't it?" He very quietly said, "yes." I could only nod, but I needed to know. Because the word rape conveyed more helplessness and terror than the word incest did for me at that moment.
It is OK to hate the words. But eventually, it will also be OK to hate the acts.
keep writing...
poster:Daisym
thread:699274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/699283.html