Posted by Lindenblüte on October 31, 2006, at 13:54:54
In reply to Re: My therapist really screwed up, posted by joslynn on October 31, 2006, at 13:02:59
Hi Joslynn,
> However, I don't have anything as traumatic as CSA in my background, so it's easier for me to say things in person than it is for a CSA survivor.
>I'm glad to hear that you don't have CSA in your background. BUT I'm kind of wondering why you said it like this? I'm my own twisted mind, I read your sentence above and my mind creates this meaning:
"You sufferred something far more traumatic than I did, so it's harder for you to say things in person because you are a survivor".
I guess I just wonder if that's what you meant? I'm not sure that it's useful or supportive to arrange our personal experiences into some heirarchy of pains, hurts, sufferings, traumas and horrors.
I think we all hurt in our own special ways, for our own special reasons. There are commonalities, and differences in experience, even for identical twins who grow up with the same genes and in the same household.
I want to be able to support you, joslynn AND jammerlich AND all the other babblers, regardless of any differences in background.
********
I felt that my exT was actually angry at me for writing him e-mails at one point. He seemed hostile, so I only reserved it for very special occasions, like when I felt like killing myself.
And of course, he'd see me at my next session, and say "so, what's up with the e-mails?" I thought he was angry at me, but with a little more distance, I'm really *hoping* to think that he was only frustrated with me, because my e-mails communicated things in a very different way than my face-to-face sessions did. Face to face, with a man who I think has a short fuse-- heck, I even KNOW he's intolerant of certain behaviors!-- I could be a very good actress, even though I told myself that I was being honest. Of course, that's the madness! I WAS being honest, but I wasn't telling him the *whole* truth...
I guess we all have our different reasons for having problems communicating our disappointments in the therapeutic relationship. I'm still trying to sort through what happened with my exT.
I'm sorry if I was a little hard on you joslynn, I think your post was really supportive. I just got that one sentence stuck in my head, and I couldn't NOT respond to it. Please tell me to eat elephant dung, or just imagine it, if you're angry at me.
I'm really happy that you have a good T. The fact that she's most comfortable in a face to face relationship is probably because she's so good! Otherwise, she might have ended up as an author :)
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:697410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/699337.html