Posted by Lindenblüte on October 4, 2006, at 15:02:47
In reply to Re: at what age did many people start to feel ill? » Poet, posted by Racer on October 4, 2006, at 14:52:20
When I was five, I used to make myself bleed so that I could go to the school nurse. I did this many times. We became good friends.
I had a lot of shyness and problems going to school when I was in 3rd-5th grade. My mom could always motivate me by telling me that I needed to speak with the guidance counselor (in retrospect, probably a kindred spirit, but a man, and therefore terrifying)
In 6th grade, I gained 70 lbs, and this is probably when my terrible body image stuff started.
I had my first bout of stagefright when I was in 2nd grade, but a true panic attack-stage-fright when I was in 7th grade.
In 9th grade, I realized I had severe intimacy issues with men.
In 11th grade, I told my good friend about being beaten regularly by my 19-year-old brother. I must have been feeling incredibly desparate by that time.
In 12th grade, I hatched my escape plot, and carried it out. Probably depressed and apathetic, but was that only "senioritis?"
When I was 21-22 some hints of disordered eating. never got into "clinical" range.
22 first major depression and first suicidal urges
27 second major depression
all along- lots of anxiety and particularly stage-fright acute anxiety attacks. Also incredible anxiety with romantic relationships with men (but not women!)
-Li
wow! I should print this out- never thought about this in such depth before!
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:691655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/691814.html