Posted by Susan47 on September 24, 2006, at 13:13:41
In reply to Re: Dear god » Susan47, posted by Poet on September 24, 2006, at 11:47:48
Meaning, in my case,
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Controversial.
Perhaps.
But in my case, I can see things.
Things like ...
calling a psychologist's answering machine and leaving all kinds of messages, some of which seemed threatening but really weren't. And who would know that except myself? Nobody. No one. Not a person. Only me.
I remember once, leaving a message saying that I wanted to steal my file. I remember feelihg so disrespected by him. I remember feeling a lack of respect for myself.
I remember feeling extreme anger. Anger at everyone, including myself, for the failure I am.
For the failure I feel.
I don't know if I always felt this way. I think, yes. Yes.
I wish it weren't so.
I don't want it to be like this anymore, and I don't know if anything will change it.
I will give psychotherapy one last chance.
I've lost everything.
I have squandered my resources.
I have literally almost nothing left.
Apparently, this is a common theme amongst those with my.. diagnosis.There has to be a reason why I went through this life like this.
There has to be something I can do to make it better.
To make it valuable.
There is no point in having lived and suffered like this if I can't turn it into something that would help other people.
How?
poster:Susan47
thread:688425
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/688694.html