Posted by muffled on September 19, 2006, at 15:30:08
In reply to Update on hypnosis *possible trig*, posted by antigua on September 19, 2006, at 14:57:19
> I just wanted to let you guys know where I am with the hypnosis.
**Thank you. I been wondering.
>
> I've been four times. The first two times I didn't go under, or go into a "trance" as the guy likes to say. The third time I did, but I could still hear every word he said. Basically, he was talking about letting the unconscious mind connect with the conscious mind. My mind was all over the place, I couldn't really settle on anything in particular. But when he brought me up, I was very, very scared. Of what I didn't have a clue. Nothing was there but the fear. It took me a while to calm myself down in the car (I sang a lot of songs out loud!).***:-(
>
> The fear persisted for a day or so, and then a memory I already had became clearer--just bits and pieces to fill it out, but it was still disturbing. Visceral too, I could smell and taste, but it wasn't a flashback. Just creeped into my mind. It was disgusting, but it helped me. Once I figured that out, the fear left me, although my feelings about the memory have stayed intense.***:-(
>
> The fourth time, he asked me if I wanted to go deeper (he was concerned for my fear reaction) or work on inner child stuff. Gung ho that I am, I said "let's go deeper," but he decided it was better to do the other. I connected with the wounded child and discovered something I never knew. She's really mad at me. I had only seen her as wounded and pathetic, but I never felt her anger. She doesn't talk, but she gets her feelings across.***Hey thats cool. Thats how a coupla my ikids pretty much communicate.But can they EVER get their feelings across. I'm glad you found her.
>
> This week, since discovering she's angry, my T of course said maybe you could ask her what she wants, blah, blah, blah. Well, all I got was that she wanted something sweet (I used to eat sweet things after the abuse to kill the taste in my mouth) and so I ate some cookies. This is silly, I thought, and then I got mad. Mad at her for holding me hostage all these years--she is where all my self-destructive behavior comes from (as punishment to myself--drinking, ED, etc.)***Try not to be too mad at her. She REALLY is just a kid. She was just trying to survive. If it was any other kid you'd proly give her a break. But one thoing I found VERY hard to get thru my head, but which has helped TONS in my understanding....is that these inside kids...ARE KIDS. Their behavior and responses are that of a child. They are not adults. There is an adult part of you, but the kids are kids. And things will go better and faster if you can relate to them as such.
>
> So we are at a stand-off; I'm not giving into her. I told her it was time she grew up. And i'm really annoyed that all this stuff has just been sitting there for all these years and I never noticed it. My T says that if I'm mad, that's progress.***Well, mad is good in a way. But please be kind as youi can. She will just rebel more most likely if you are mean to her.....
One of my ikids, we fought like CRAZY at first. Pouting and anger on both sides. But now, this kid, HA! I love her, she the greatest. She strong, and smart(and crows about it often!!!LOL). She helps me alot. She just wanted to be recognized and appreciated.
Now that being said, I AM locked in a bit of a problem with another kid who persists in sending me emotions that are nonsense. But I trying hard to realize she just a kid and proly just wants attn....
>
> So the hypnosis has been interesting. Kind of like EMDR in a way, but so much more relaxing, as I've learned a lot of new relaxation techniques.***:-)Good!
>
> But it wasn't what I expected either, which is good I think. Although I was somewhat overwhelmed that one time, it was o.k.***Good again!
>
> As to that memory I've been trying to recover--I don't care about that anymore. It just doesn't seem very important. Real or not.
> antigua
***Mebbe its just that you are recognizing your inside people and feeling more peace from them as a result....
I have no memories, just emotions, and I inclined to think they just sh*t disturbing crap from the kid I'm having troubles with now.
Sigh.
Not so easy is it?
Anyhow, seems you've made great strides and thats wonderful to hear.
I'm happy for you Antigua.
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:687439
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/687447.html