Posted by wishingstar on September 7, 2006, at 20:17:14
In reply to Re: faking it » wishingstar, posted by sleepygirl on September 6, 2006, at 21:27:54
Thanks for the responses. I guess I dont really feel like I can be honest and tell people I'm suffering from depression... the truth is, no one wants to hear that. Plus, it'd be really inappropriate for me to tell the students I mentor that. It isnt meant to be a recriprocal relationship. I do lie and say I have a headache or I'm tired all the time though, like you suggested muffled. So much that I'm feeling like that excuse is getting old and people are going to stop believing it. Thats why I'm worried.
I am trying to get on meds. I've had a terrible time trying to get an appointment... different people telling me I needed to go different places, doctors not returning phone calls... finally I got one. But it isnt until the 22nd, and not even with the doctor I wanted. The doctor I wanted didnt have openings until Oct. Insane.
It does seem to help sometimes for me to keep busy, but right now I'm at a place where I just cant do most of the things I need/want to do. It's weird to say "cant" because I guess it is a choice, but I really do feel like I cant. It's just so hard. But I'm still going to my classes.. thats a plus. If they werent seminar style (5-10 people in class) I dont know if I would, but my absence would be too obvious.
I see my T tomorrow. Last session with the good T from the city where I was over the summer (driving back to see her one more time). T here in town, Anne, tried to drop me and I talked her out of it. That probably was a bad idea, since I know she isnt helping anyway... but I'm just not at a place where I can handle her dropping me right now. I just cant. I know it's never easy, but right now... no. I dont have any friends, and recently no boyfriend, so T is all I have right now, good or bad.
poster:wishingstar
thread:683784
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684075.html