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Re: stupid, pissy and » daisym

Posted by pegasus on August 21, 2006, at 12:09:01

In reply to Re: stupid, pissy and overwhelmed (trigger) » pegasus, posted by daisym on August 18, 2006, at 14:00:16

Thanks Daisy. You're always so encouraging and gentle. I'm feeling stubborn in my self loathing. It's hard to do the things that are good for me. I am trying for the sake of my daughter.

I told my husband that I'm very stressed about work. He agreed, but didn't understand that I was asking for some slack. I'll have to try again later.

I've never had much luck with finding substitutes for my SI, but I'll keep trying. I've upped my therapy frequency. I'm trying to hang out here more. I've identified safe people at work to go to and vent when I'm about to blow. But, yeah, long term I just need to find another job. Or wait this out until things change again. They seem to change every 6 months or so around here, so you never know.

Anyway, I'm also taking classes, which is saving my sanity. That one evening a week is heaven. I *love* my program. I figure if things get really bad, then I'll just quit and go to school full time for a while and finish that degree then get some totally different job. If I can get them to fire me (which might be fun), then I can even collect unemployment to help finance it.

OK, so I'm also using fantasy as a coping mechanism. :)

p

 

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