Posted by Tamar on August 11, 2006, at 3:45:16
In reply to Re: I’m going to tie my therapist to his chair » Tamar, posted by annierose on August 10, 2006, at 22:40:50
Hi Annie,
> I'm glad you are feeling so connected to your therapy right now, and yes, seperations are hard. I'm currently on day 13 of a vacation break - and I will hopefully have an appt on Tues if I don't get stuck in an airport on Monday in NYC.
Gosh, I hope you don’t get stuck! Each day is hard!
> You are brave. Good job for bringing up some difficult sexual issues. I just skirt around the topic when needed, don't delve too deep. No pun intended. Waiting to continue the conversation after you open up a sensitive point is so hard too. There is just no way around "easy therapy" - I don't think it really exists. It's an office filled with land mines just waiting to explode or implode.
You are right! There is definitely no easy therapy. However, I was so pleased that it was possible to talk about the sexual stuff. He was just so matter-of-fact about it all. And of course, I knew he would be. But trusting people with that kind of stuff always feels like a huge risk.
> But I do disagree. I know he has forgotten several things recently; he won't forget this conversation. Not to be sexist, men just don't forget easily the sex topic.Tee hee. I expect you’re right. And you’re absolutely right to mention that he’s forgotten things recently. I guess I was kind of counting on that experience to convince myself that I can escape from this topic when he returns. But some of the stuff I talked about was fairly graphic, and I do need to talk about it some more…
> The 18 year old is yearning to heal the past hurts. It makes perfect sense to me that she wants to feel your T's kindness, compassion and love. She needs to know that it's safe to do so. Your T does want your loving side of you in therapy; he can't fall "in love". But I think it's okay to share your feelings. Always makes for a good session.
You’re right – she would like to feel his kindness, compassion and love. At the moment, though, she doesn’t really think he feels anything much for her. She has absolutely no expectation that he might care about her… She just wants to be allowed to care about him.
> What has helped me get through my vacation, then hers (back to back) was meditation and yoga, especially yoga. It feels like therapy without the angst.
Yikes! Back-to-back vacations! Ouch! I was very lucky; I returned home from my vacation two days before my therapist left for his, so we were able to squeeze an appointment in. Yoga sounds great. Unfortunately I’m not very good at it. I always seem to lose my balance. I’ve been doing a little bit of meditating though, with candles and incense. It’s good to have some quiet time.
> Besides therapy stuff, how are you doing? How is your mother-in-law?
Thanks for asking! I’m doing a little better, I think. My mother-in-law is doing extraordinarily well. She can now walk about the house without sticks. This is a woman who nearly didn’t survive. Her legs were broken in several places, and the doctor who operated on her foot said it had been like tried to fix a cookie that had been stamped on. They weren’t sure she was going to be able to walk at all, and even if she did walk they said she’d have to use sticks indoors and probably a wheelchair outdoors.
She’s proved them all wrong. We’ve just been on vacation together – my husband’s parents have a house in the country. And my mother-in-law was cooking and visiting friends and walking to church and doing everything as normally as possible. There were times when I briefly forgot she’d been in an accident. She’s a remarkable woman! I’m just so grateful we didn’t lose her.
On a sadder note, I went to her aunt’s grave – her aunt died in the accident. I loved her very much and it was quite shocking to see her name on a gravestone. It was strange seeing the date of her death (26 December 2005). Somehow it didn’t seem enough. I kind of wanted the gravestone to tell the story of her death: how unfair and sudden it was. However, it was instant. She didn’t suffer. And I guess that’s another thing to be grateful for.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:675486
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/675578.html