Posted by littleone on June 28, 2006, at 21:09:32
In reply to Re: Deep Inhale  » fallsfall, posted by annierose on June 27, 2006, at 22:58:39
> Yes, we do get that connection we are longing for from our T's. That is ONE of the reasons their absences are so painful --- something that was available to us every week at our special time has gone away.
But once again I think it's tied into the access point you raised earlier. I know that for me it was forbidden to have emotional needs met by my parents. It wasn't said outright that it was forbidden, but the negative responses I received back from them gradually made it an unspoken forbidden. I am forbidden to approach them. I am forbidden to ask them for help, etc.
Then when my T goes away I feel forbidden from asking for those things from him.
Do you feel that way?
> I have zero frame of reference for how a mother talks to a child when they are hurt, sad, disappointed, happy, jealous. I don't know what to say. Now my T helps give me some dialogues --- very helpful, especially with my daughter.Yeah. I don't have kids, but I try to talk to myself like this and it just doesn't work at all. I can even tell that I'm saying the wrong things to myself, but for the life of me I have no idea what the right words are. It's just a totally foreign language when you've never been taught it as a kid.
You say it's been helpful with your daughter. Does it feel real when you say the right stuff to her, or does it feel fake and put on? Maybe it only feels fake for me because I get so cut off from my feelings. I'd really like to hear how you've found it to be.
poster:littleone
thread:661678
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060623/msgs/662388.html