Posted by fallsfall on June 17, 2006, at 9:29:09
In reply to Had a crisis at work, little long., posted by llrrrpp on June 16, 2006, at 22:21:53
You did a great job with your advisor!!
>I e-mailed her back that she could help me by being on time to meetings. That when she's late (usually about 30 minutes late, on average, in the last 18 months) that it hurts my feelings. That I'm too sensitive and that I take it personally sometimes. Also that it's hard to get motivated to prepare for meetings, and take them seriously when the your advisor is consistently late.
You identified an issue, presented it clearly and non-blamingly. Told her about the effect her lateness has on you.
And she heard your message. Knew that there was truth to what you were saying. And responded with compassion.
This is all great. I think you handled this really, really well!
Isolating is not what you need. When people are caring, it makes you cry. But you need more caring, not less. It may make you cry now, but it is healing. It will lead to better times.
It is hard to stay engaged when you feel the way you do currently. But try to gently push yourself to stay engaged. Perhaps find activities that have a short duration (get an ice cream cone with a friend - "I just have time for a quick treat, will you join me?"). I often find that the thought of being with someone for more than 30 minutes is too much, but I can handle a short interaction.
Go to places where there are people, like a mall. You don't have to interact with the people, but just being in the same place as others can help.
Make a list of short break things that are USUALLY pleasurable for you. You may not find them pleasurable now, but if under "normal" circumstances they are pleasurable, then they count. Mine include ice cream (are you understanding why my nickname is The Ice Cream Queen?), swinging on swings at the playground, sitting on the floor with my dogs, coloring designs with crayons. You will find your own list. When you are in one of the 3 hour crying periods, do one of these things. You aren't being productive anyway, so it is OK to take a break. Sometimes, just giving yourself permission to be good to yourself is helpful.
And don't isolate from Babble. We like you!
poster:fallsfall
thread:657859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/657949.html