Posted by bent on June 14, 2006, at 18:12:23
I’m kinda scared right now. But I know it will go away. You see, I feel alone and very hopeless right now. I am just learning that I hate my parents. Due to work-conflicts my fiancé and I see each other for about 3 quality hours per week. The rest of the times he’s working or sleeping, and never next to me because he is working nights for the next six months. Oh, and did I say that included every single weekend of our freaking summer? And then this whole week I have been debating about my T, to stay or go, but right now I need her because I feel like I don’t have anyone else. I have cried my eyes out for two nights in a row now. I lie in my bed or walk around my house and wonder what’s good in my life. I know there are things. Things I can’t see right now. But what scares me is when my mind drifts to dark places. I don’t think about hurting myself, but I think about thinking about hurting myself. I don’t know if anyone understands that. I don’t want to hurt me, and trust me I won’t, but I worry when I get this way. Especially two nights in a row. I mean that hasn’t happened in years. It isn’t healthy to feel this depressed so suddenly. I don’t know what to do about it. But tomorrow, just like today I will be fine. I will wonder why I was so down the night before. I don’t understand it. Tomorrow I will feel stupid for posting this because I will feel great again. I think I will take myself for a walk, that usually helps me feel better.
poster:bent
thread:657009
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/657009.html