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Re: Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on May 31, 2006, at 8:39:30

In reply to Dinah, posted by Dinah on May 30, 2006, at 22:09:10

Change is terrifying.

I was severely depressed for 10 years. More than 1/5 of my life. It was the life I knew. It was painful, but it was familiar. It was predictable. I knew how to behave, how to think.

Getting better is hard. Very hard. Every day I get up and have to decide to have a better life. Some days I'm more successful than others. It is work every day to fight the tendency to fall back to my depressed ways.

But it is SO worth it.

I couldn't do it without my therapist. Therapy doesn't end when the depression ends. I still need to figure out how to have a life. How to participate in the world. Weekly I slip back into a more depressed state. My therapist helps me see my slips and helps me to understand them. He helps me to envision other ways of being in the world. He helps me to see reality more clearly.

I wish I could get back those 10 years. But they are gone. My next 10 years aren't gone, however. And I will live, not merely exist. It is hard.

But it is SO worth it.

 

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poster:fallsfall thread:650693
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/650896.html