Posted by madeline on May 20, 2006, at 8:42:30
In reply to A new male T - a wish, posted by orchid on May 19, 2006, at 16:21:47
I have to agree with happyflower. If you go into therapy looking specifically for a personal relationship, you will probably get disappointed. I used to imagine that my T was like a gandalf figure that could magically make all the bad things that happened to just disappear and with a wave of his hand I would be whole and safe again. It doesn't work that way.
Sooner or later you will end up realizing that the man in the room with you is NOT your father. And that hurts. A lot.
However, I think it is a really good thing that you have recognized the need for a father figure in your life and it opens the door for a tremendous amount of therapeutic work.
In my opinion, that work can be done with a man, but you may be better served by a woman T.
That's not to say that feeling won't develop in that relationship, they will, but they might be easier to work through.
I think we all have a tremendous desire to go back to our childhood and try to re-live the loving relationships that we should've gotten at that time. It's normal. But no therapist can fill that role. They can only provide support and insight into our lives right now.
And, to me, that role is worth far more than any other thing we want them to do.
Maddie
poster:madeline
thread:645986
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/646163.html