Posted by DisposableDoll on May 19, 2006, at 0:01:17
In reply to Suggested Group Therapy and Could I have BPD?, posted by DisposableDoll on May 18, 2006, at 23:41:36
Sorry, but I just found this other site, http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSIHW000/9339/9566.html-
"Borderline personality disorder is characterized by poor self-image, great difficulty coping with loneliness and feeling empty." Yes on the last two, but is poor self image, poor understanding of self or poor self esteem?
"People with this disorder have unstable relationships, highly reactive and intense moods, and impulsive behavior." Okay, unstable yes to a degree, and sometimes I can be ractive or overly dramatic, but a lot of times i just feel dull and numb. Sometimes i am impulsive, but I tend to be more of a type of person who knows darn well what she is doing and the risks, but does it anyways....a bit on the reckless side.
"They are more likely to attempt or commit suicide. Sometimes they harm themselves (for example, cutting or burning) as a form of self-punishment or to combat a numb feeling. At those times, suicide is not the goal." Sometimes I hurt myself for self punishment, sometimes to combat feeling numb, sometimes because I am angry or distressed and need to vent it somewhere and sometimes for other reasons I'd rather not say right now.
"When stressed, people with borderline personality disorder may develop psychoticlike symptoms. They experience a distortion of perception or belief rather than a distinct break with reality. Especially in close relationships, they tend to misinterpret or amplify what other people feel about them. For example, they may assume persecutory or hateful feelings when a friend or family member may be only mildly annoyed or angry." Yes, I do do this sometimes.
Now it said it was sometimes suggested that BPD was caused by "an abusive or neglectful childhood." I don't think it was abusive and I don't even think it was really that neglectful. Especially where my mother's side of the family was concerned.
It later says, "People with borderline personality disorder have a deep fear of abandonment." As I have said YES.
"They compete for social acceptance, are terrified of rejection and often feel lonely even in the context of an intimate relationship." Um, most of society can deal with me whether they like me or not, but I am terrified of rejection when it comes to those I love and I sometimes feel lonley when surrounded by people, but when I was dating my last boyfriend, I don't think I was lonley when we were dating.
"Therefore, it is more difficult for them to manage the normal ups and downs of a romantic partnership." I suck at relationships. I ruin all of them and I have ruined my life in general, inmany ways.
"Impulsive, self-destructive behavior may be an attempt to ward off rising anxiety related to the fear of being left alone." Yeah, I think sometimes I am impulsive and take risks so that I can get my mind off of my lonliness and fears that it won't be fixed. Other times I don't know why I am self destructive.
"The flip side of the fear is the hope that a relationship will be completely soothing. These people may idealize a family member, romantic partner or friend, then become enraged when an inevitable disappointment occurs. They might hold that person responsible for the pain they feel and devalue the relationship." Maybe. I dunno. I don't want to think about this right now. I'm tired.
"It is quite common for people with borderline personality disorder to also have a mood disorder, eating disorder or substance abuse problem. The person may turn to alcohol or drugs to escape from painful, uncontrollable emotions."
"Three times as many women as men are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It occurs in about 2% of the population in the United States." Well, I'm female. lol.
"It is normal to feel vulnerable, so most people have experienced some of the symptoms on this list. The diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is made only when someone has had many of these symptoms to a severe degree, over a long period." I don't know if I have it or not. Wouldn't my T have suggested it or is it possible I haven't mentioned enough of these symptoms in therapy? These symptoms are mostly repeats of the earlier mentioned ones-
"Unstable, intense and difficult relationships" Somewhat, yes if not more than somewhat and it's my fault
"Poor self-image" Again, does this mean low self esteem or bad understanding of self?
"Self-destructive, impulsive behavior" somewhat
"Suicidal threats or attempts" yes
"Self-mutilation" yep
"Extreme mood reactions, including intense,
inappropriate anger" Anger, yes, and sometimes other stuff, but normally I am more dull and dead"Feeling empty or alone" yes
"Fear of abandonment" yes
"Short-lived psychoticlike distortions of perception or belief, especially under stress" I think so and YES especially when under stress
poster:DisposableDoll
thread:645776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/645784.html