Posted by madeline on April 21, 2006, at 7:43:41
In reply to Re: Unhappily in love, posted by linebored on April 20, 2006, at 8:40:44
I think it is great that you feel an awakening inside you about the prospect of love and being open to it.
For me, that's what therapy has all been about.
I have expressed my feeling for my therapist enumerable times. I "get over it", the feelings come back, then I get over it again.
When I first told him, I did exactly what you did. I called it simply transference and said that I thought it was just an artifact of therapy. He was not too receptive to that interpretation.
Then I told him that I wanted him to be my father etc...
Then I told him that I hated him for making me feel this way - like dangling a carrot in front of me while he got to stay perfectly safe.
Then I finally told him that I was absolutely afraid of the way I felt and that I was afraid of him, I was afraid of trusting and loving him. I almost quit therapy several times.
Now, I'm beginning to accept the way I feel and let myself get wrapped in the warmth I feel from him. It's okay that I have these feelings and they aren't going to screw everything up, he's not going to run out of the room screaming and the hurt is leaving, only to be replaced with the a lot of hope.
Our therapists care about us a lot, of that I'm convinced. But, when you are ready, I think it is important to realize that THEIR experience of therapy is quite different from ours. Good therapists share in your emotional intimacy, but they do not become emotionally intimate with you. Their love for us comes from the shared experience I think, but not from some deep place were they have bared their souls as we have.
I know my therapist loves me, but we share different kinds of love for each other. And that's okay. As happyflower said, love is love is love.
poster:madeline
thread:634558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/635462.html