Posted by special_k on April 7, 2006, at 9:38:50
In reply to real feelings » Veracity, posted by pseudoname on April 5, 2006, at 18:31:55
i think feelings of love are feelings of love...
but that doesn't rule out transference as one possible explanation of the origin / presence of those feelings...
> I guess I would say then that I can't see a basis for declaring the feeling not real
i guess i think transference feelings are every bit as real as non-transference feelings. like burns caused by the sun are every bit as real as burns caused by the stove. it is just that the origins of the burns / feelings may be different.
> what if these feelings have important triggers and effects just like the feelings you would call “real”? What if, just because they're about the therapist and seem shallow, they are therefore ruled to be transference from early childhood, and those important NON-childhood connections are never discovered?
?
triggers and effects?
i'm not quite sure what you mean...
what kinds of important NON-childhood connections might be passed over?
> I think it's worth noting that no physiological or developmental basis has ever been observed that supports making a distinction between “real” and transferential emotions.i thought the idea was the origin... but i might be wrong. maybe i have a very idiosyncratic notion of transference...
> > We cannot ever really know our therapists beyond limited general information so if we fall IN love with them, it seems like we're just falling in love with some IDEA of them we have in our heads. And that's not real to me, that's transference.i think it is real. it is just that if you tried to have a relaitonship in the real world you would appreciate soon enough that the person doesn't match the ideal and so your feelings of intense love are likely to evolve into feelings of disappoitment and maybe resentment or rage or something like that. i'd say that might be a difference between transference feelings (maybe more based around an ideal) and non-transference feelings which are more based on seeing someone in a variety of contexts over time... well... when all goes well. i grant there may be no hard and fast line...
> People sometimes FALL in love for real, as the expression suggests, very easily, on the basis of minimal information and contact, and end up married. That sure seems real.yes. is there usually a significant power imbalance in their relaitonship in the first place (ie teacher / student; therapist / client; etc etc...)
> But I would still deny that there are any grounds for EVER confidently asserting that a particular current emotional response is a transfer of stored-up emotions toward a figure from childhood.oh. is that what transference is supposed to be... i guess... maybe it is more... when you feel an intense response and you wonder 'why on earth am i having such an intense response' and then you can get to thinking what it reminds you of... and then you can come up with a story. maybe it seems to fit maybe it doesn't... but i guess it is in the effort to explain / understand why you feel as you do. sometimes we don't analyse our feelings in that way. maybe you do marry someone who reminds you of your father (or someone who seems the opposite of your father) and maybe transference is the basis for the attraction. i guess it doesn't matter so long as the relationship is mutually beneficial / satisfying. but if you find yourself longing for someone you don't really want to be longing for (rationally) or if you find yourself longing for someone who doesn't reciprocate, or who treats you badly or something... well then that might be the time to figure if there is some transference going on to explain your emotion... and if you get to thinking what it reminds you of etc etc... maybe that process of working through... means that the feelings get less. you kind of get over it... and have feelings for people who are more appropriate.. maybe that is what it is about?
(just rambelling along)
poster:special_k
thread:628935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/630034.html