Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 0:56:24
In reply to Time for a Pause, posted by daisym on April 3, 2006, at 23:55:35
OK, you think the replies are too nice? Too kind? How about I offer a little Tough Love, then?
What you're talking about is running away, and you know it. It's scary, and it hurts, and I'm sure you are afraid you'll blast off into violence sometimes. But you have a support network, no matter how hard it is for you to make use of it.
Go back and read the archives -- all the people here who offer the most support and affection to others, I'd bet, have also gone through periods in which they do nothing except beg for help and support from others. You can look at it from one of two perspectives: either it all comes out in the wash, or there's no score keeper here. If this is your time to need, it's someone else's time to give. Sort of a microcosm of the larger world, you know? This gives you practice for real life, where I'll bet the last time you asked someone for their support on a personal level was when you were about three years old. And yet, in that time, haven't you offered a heck of a lot of support to others? Often without their asking for it?
Daisy, I'm so sorry this is so hard, and so frightening for you. And I'll bet you're ready to drop it all and walk away. Same way, when your kids were young, you probably had days when you wanted to walk away from them, too. But just as you took care of your children, you get to take care of YOU now. And somehow, that's even harder than taking care of anyone else. But I know you well enough to know that you don't back down from a challenge.
So, stick around. See what people have to offer, and what you can offer back -- if anything. And if you ain't got nothin' right now, s'OK. You'll have something another time. Babble is a little like Stone Soup, you know? We all bring what we can, when we can -- and that includes our pain and our needs.
Hey -- when your kids were young, did you think less of them for needing you? Did you think they were pathetic because they didn't meet all their own needs? So, uh, could you tell me why it's so different for you? Besides you needing to be perfect, that is?
And Daisy? Your T is telling you the truth, that he can take care of himself. Hard as it is, trust him on that one, eh? Hasn't he proven himself so far?
xoxo
poster:Racer
thread:628551
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/628559.html