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Re: Still Needy - Big Trigger » Daisym

Posted by All Done on March 30, 2006, at 15:05:11

In reply to Still Needy - Big Trigger, posted by Daisym on March 30, 2006, at 1:38:54

(((((Daisy))))),

You know how much I wish I could make this easier for you.

I told my T I don't understand how I'm supposed to need him so much, tell him what I need, and then, he's going to meet some of those needs but not all of them. It makes me so scared. I want to know beforehand which ones he can meet and which ones he can't. As an adult, I'm not used to acting with so much uncertainty. Kids are fearless. I feel like a four-year old with the added bonus of the fear learned by a 33-year old.

Sorry for the tangent.

I worry a lot about being *there* for my son when I'm with him. I understand the guilt of not feeling in the moment, but I have discovered, that I'm much better with him when I can get a little rejuvenation. Unfortunately, the need to rejuvenate doesn't always come at the best time. So, I muddle through until it's a good time to take a break. In the big scheme of things, he's not going to remember the week or so where I wasn't exactly myself as much as he's going to remember the next few weeks where I focus my attention on him when I'm with him. And neither am I.

My T recently told me it's a good thing for my son to see that his Mommy has an emotional life. He doesn't need to see *all* of it, but it's okay, if he knows I'm not happy all the time. You're a great mom, Daisy. Try not to let one week make you forget that.

I'm glad your T left you the message he did. It's so important to have something to go back to when your mind doesn't seem to let you hang on.

Hugs, (((Daisy))).

Laurie


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