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Re: Gift for T » milly

Posted by Tamar on March 30, 2006, at 6:42:23

In reply to Re: Gift for T » NikkiT2, posted by milly on March 30, 2006, at 2:38:25

> So basically I failed to ask what I needed to ask and now I only have one session left. i think I might write down what i need to say and take it with me because otherwise I'm going to blow it and leave feeling cr*p again.

It's frustrating, isn't it? I went to my session last week with every intention of telling my therapist that I'd been having dreams every night for two weeks in which he was angry with me and shouting at me. But I forgot all about it, even when he asked me if there was something I was avoiding.

My take on my own failure to bring up the main issue is that I was too afraid of his possible response, and so my mind conveniently buried it.

Do you think it's possible that you didn't ask him because you are afraid to express your anger towards him? If so, it's a perfectly natural response. No need to beat yourself up about it. But if you think you can imagine beginning to handle your feelings of anger towards him, then I think writing it down and taking it in is a good idea.

I know the idea of being angry with him is hard, particularly if you feel a great deal of affection for him. But if he's as good as you say he is, then he won't push you away when you express it. You have every reason to feel angry, and I imagine he understands that. He probably feels immense compassion for you, and if you are able to express your anger towards him I imagine he'll help you to feel some of his compassion. It seems clear from the conversation you had this week that your anger won't drive him away emotionally.

I hope your session goes well.

Tamar



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