Posted by milly on March 29, 2006, at 7:26:45
In reply to I am scared right this second, posted by James K on March 29, 2006, at 3:29:36
**Hi james, i don't think I have anything great to say only that I'm sorry you have to face that person again and 'behave' to get what you want out of her, but think how far you've come and you don't want to stop now.> I know everyone is asleep or at work right this second, but I have to talk about this. In six hours, no make that 5 hours and 45 minutes, I have to be in the admissions office of someone that hurt my feelings so I cussed her out and reported her to her boss.
** She hurt your feelings, maybe she deserved a reminder of who is the client in this situation, maybe she has learnt something for herself about how to treat people, maybe you did her a favour
>And I have to convince that person that I'm insane enough for insurance to pay for inpatient treatment, but sane enough not to be disruptive of their program.
** Don't you just hate the power some people have over our lives
> I don't want to be in the same office as her, or talk to her, and I'm afraid I'm going to chicken out.
** Don't chicken out, shes just a small cog in the process of getting you where you want to be, she's nothing.
> I've been asleep, but without sleep aids or cns depressants, I have insomnia. Also night sweats. I've gotten through this last week of hospitalization by just going along without thinking of this upcoming moment.
** I'm sorry you are having a physically hard time at the moment
>I invented a phrase for myself "Don't do anything today that will make tomorrow worse."
** Good phrase, I tend to use "Be good, don't hit him"
>But they let me come home before transferring to the other facility, and I am scared or perhaps I am suffering from anxiety.
**the unknown is scary but soon it won't be the unknown.
> I was going to deflect my anxiety about this upcoming situation by engaging in an imaginary dispute here on the internet, but that would just be a deflection, and once I realized that, it lost it's luster. I'm going back to bed, and try to sleep a little more.
** I truely hope you managed to sleep a little more, it is useful to be rested before coping with stressful situations
> So much money, so much intense therapy, scrutiny, socialization. I don't want to face these people. I don't want to cry. I don't want to disapoint the only psychiatrist who ever believed in me and worked extra to get me this chance. or my wife.
** (((((((((James))))))))
> I hope by posting this, I can clear my brain a little.** hope so too
> thanks,
> James K** Take care milly
poster:milly
thread:625932
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/625962.html