Posted by All Done on March 24, 2006, at 10:50:30
When I saw my T on Wednesday night, I told him that I wanted him to figure out what I need and make sure I get what I need. I used my recent experience with my son to explain. When he was having difficulty at daycare, I asked him what would help and he told me he wanted me there everyday. So, I started calling him each day to remind him I'm coming back and that I love him and care about how his day is going. I told my T I wanted the same thing. I wished he could call me each day.
After that, he said he could call me the next day. It was hard, but I accepted the offer. So, he called last night just to check in. It was about a 15 minute conversation and he ended it by saying, "I'm going to say goodnight, now." Even when I've had late evening sessions, he's never said goodnight, always goodbye. It felt like he brushed away my bangs, kissed me on the forehead, and tucked me in for the night. I wish he could do that every night.
But (of course there's a but) there was no way I could go to sleep after that. It stirred up so many of my emotions surrounding my dad not "being there" to tuck me in. Instead, he would be drinking or passed out in the living room. And my mom worked second shift when I was young. She wouldn't get home until I was already asleep. Who tucked me in? I know sometimes my teenage sisters did, but usually they were busy with their own stuff. I would just read until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
I felt like I needed to bawl my eyes out, but I couldn't. I stayed up too late and then I just lay in bed until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
I'm so glad I see him again tomorrow.
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:624149
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/624149.html