Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 10:22:54
I like to have a routine. I like things to be predictable. Sometimes things come up that threaten the routine. Sometimes they are bad things, sometimes they are good things (like Christmas). But even the good things break the routine.
Going back to school has certainly shaken up my routine - in a good way. And I feel like I have worked hard to make going to school be the new routine. But even that routine is treatened.
I just got back from visiting my daughter. She has finished her student teaching and did a presentation yesterday on her philosophy of teaching. She had the whole room eating out of her hand for 30 minutes. She was awesome. I was so proud. I love visiting with her. She is such a nice person, and we like to eat the same things and do the same things. It is very comfortable being with her. But at the same time I was screaming "This is not my routine! I want things to be normal!".
Next week my therapist is on vacation. The week after that I have another school trip. In April my son, who has been in Japan with the Army for the last 17 months will be home for a month's leave. Another school trip in late April, and then one in May (and the end of the semester). And Toronto in May. Plus a centenial family reunion in July. ALL good stuff (except my therapist going on vacation), but all disrupts the routine.
I feel like I am a little kid walking on a stone wall these days. My therapist walks beside me. He doesn't hold my hand, but when I lose my balance he catches me and helps me to regain my equillibrium. I see him 3/week, and these days I'm losing my balance at least once a week. So he's going on vacation for a week (sunny and warm with his wife - he gave me the phone number for his hotel). He deserves the time off, and it will let him recharge so he can keep taking care of me. But here I am on this stone wall, and he is leaving me there - just temporarily. But what happens if I lose my balance? He won't be there to catch me. He'll come back in a week to pick me up off the ground. I don't want to fall. So I have to be careful this week, and walk very slowly and carefully. Or maybe I'll sit down on the wall and wait for him. I haven't decided.
I told him all about Camp Comfort today. It must be starting to feel like spring at Camp Comfort.
poster:fallsfall
thread:618330
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/618330.html