Posted by TherapyGirl on March 3, 2006, at 9:38:55
I hope I did the subject line right, as I don't want to cause anyone else any problems.
I feel like my head is going to explode. I have been in therapy with the same therapist for 21 years (we met only occasionally during one 8-year period in the late 90s, early 2000s). I have dealt with physical and emotional abuse issues during that time. I thought I was done with all of that, or as done as I can be.
We spent several years in the 1990s exploring whether or not I may have been sexually abused. There were some signs -- my complete discomfort in sexual relationships, I was diagnosed with vaginismus, which is a red flag for s.a., I have chronic insomnia and often react to situations as if I had been sexually abused. I even briefly went to a group for S.A. So I felt like we explored it thoroughly. I never had any memories of anything like that, though, so I thought we ruled it out.
This week, though, I had a disastrous gynecological exam and it looks like I checked out during part of it. When I was discussing it with my T yesterday, she said, "You know, in my many, many years of experience working with women, I've seen it happen over and over again that a woman will not recall s.a. until she's ready. I wonder if we should explore whether or not this is another layer of the abuse that you suffered."
My head has little explosions going off and has ever since yesterday. I looked at her and said, "But we ruled that out years ago." She just looked at me and pretty much repeated what she had said. Apparently, I'm the only one who ruled it out.
I don't know what I'm asking for from any of you. I just know that you're the only other people I have to talk to about this. Has this happened to any of you? Do you have any advice for me?
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:615372
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/615372.html