Posted by Voce on February 23, 2006, at 1:27:26
As part of our pre-marital counseling, I met seperately with the counselor tonight. I went in not knowing what was going to happen and not expecting to really talk about anything too deep. I'm not sure how this all happened...the counselor knew I had a history of depression and started asking a few questions, and before I knew it, I was crying for the entire appointment.
When I was in therapy with ex T, I didn't cry a drop. Tonight I couldn't turn the waterworks off. We talked about my family and how things are still hard, what I dealt with in treatment, what tools I have to fight my depression, how it may affect my future marriage, and lastly, my feelings for ex T. He said at one point, "Do you realize you're still grieving?"
No, I hadn't realized that. I was at a point where for a couple of months I've thought I was done with all that, moved to the acceptance part of grief. And tonight I just cried and cried.
He thanked me at the end, saying he was touched that I shared what I did. I left feeling tired and now I don't know WHAT to think. I almost feel like I betrayed myself because I didn't intend to go in there and talk about all that. He accepted it with grace and sensitivity, which made me feel safe I guess, but I don't know him 1/10th as well as ex T, and yet I feel safe enough to cry my eyes out?
He offered to see me privately again. I don't know if I want that.
poster:Voce
thread:612333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612333.html