Posted by nellie7 on February 21, 2006, at 6:04:34
Hello everyone,
I am new here and would appreciate any possible advice.
Several weeks ago I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on several types of psychiatric medication, was found hours later and taken to the hospital. I was told that while unconscious I responded to several questions by signaling and even replying. I may have also been asked questions at a later time but have no recollection of what I was asked or what my replies were.
Now at home I keep hearing family members talk about me behind my back when they think I am in the other room or asleep. They say "She doesn't know she imagined it, what she thought is not true", and "she must never find out what happened in the hospital because she will want to die". Any attempt to discover what they are hiding results in everyone telling me I am paranoid and imagining things and will be fine after several weeks of medication. I have heard them say I need psychiatric drugs and that the delusions they will admit to are my being convinced that they are talking about me. And again, that I should not know what it was that I really imagined.
I am feeling awful and there is no way to find out what happened. I must have said something terrible or embarrassing while under the influence of the drugs, and my family keeps hinting that it is better that I do not know. They do say, however "And even if you did say something, so what? You were sick. You imagine things".
Something awful is going on and I am afraid to find out but cannot control the bad feelings or get any information. This has been going on for several weeks now. I feel so ashamed and guilty.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks,
Nellie.
poster:nellie7
thread:611638
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/611638.html