Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:17:48
I think I might hurt myself. And for all the wrong reasons. Not seriously of course. I never do any serious damage.
But I'm suspecting that I've got some serious rage going on beneath the surface and it comes to me at night and beckons me to cut or burn someplace visible. Someplace visible and vulnerable. It's been several weeks now, and I've resisted the urges which is made easier by the fact that they come at night. But I'm not sure I want to continue to resist.
Which I don't think is a good idea, making it visible, because of my son.
Darker urges come as well, but those are easier to resist.
But sometimes, more and more often, I wonder if it's worth the fighting to stop myself from doing something that isn't really any danger to me.
It's not really safe right now to express the rage, even in a nonrageful way, because everyone around me is in so much stress. Is it really so bad to release it against myself.
poster:Dinah
thread:611279
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/611279.html