Posted by happyflower on February 9, 2006, at 18:09:29
My T is always asking me, so how are you and your DH doing. The answer is always the same for the last year, no, there is nothing, no there is not sex, no there is not talking. No there is no love, no he doesn't show any caring.
Well I think when you grow up with no love or caring you don't expect it to always be in your life. Yeah, my marriage sucks right now, but you know what I have been in worse living condidtions. It isn't like he is beating me or yelling at me or anything. I think I am making the most of a bad situation.
Getting a divorse won't make the situation any better. I still won't have love and caring, or sex. But it would turn my life upside down and my kids lives too. So I am sticking with my descison. Yeah, my life could be better, but it could also be like my childhood too, much worse.
My T thinks I am going to reach a breaking point like I have before with my DH. He is probably right (isn't he always, the little jerk, lol) but what is wrong with settling with less than perfect?
I think it bothers him more than me because it reminds him of his parents marriage which wasn't good either. Well they are still married after 60+ years, and he and his siblings have survived and are sucessful. So what the heck?
He told me he can offer advice on how to stay in the survive an unhappy marriage until I am ready to break away. So I guess this is what I am going to work at with his help. After this, I should be done with therapy. I have had enough, I am doing okay. Yeah, my T says my life could be better, well so could his life and everyone else's I know.
I think love is an illision. For me everybody who has meant anything to me, I have lost. Love just doesn't last, is it ellusive. Why even try anymore to acheive something that never works for me? Sometimes I think it is just better to not expect anything from anyone, or you will just live in a disapointing world.
poster:happyflower
thread:608063
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/608063.html